Hit Points, Physical Attack, Physical Defense, Special Attack, Special Defense, and Speed: Those exist in every Pokémon. Using them masterfully along with the right item, ability, typing, move set, mechanic, team balance, care and love, and of course brilliant thinking mid battle will lead the trainer into victory!
"So,
Mama, Papa, I need to have some explanations." said Miakko. It was the
time for 'the talk'. They found a bench, and started talking. Waiareas sat
beside the right side of her, while Ryu beside the left side. "Why did you
leave me? There has to be a reason."
"We
didn't." answered Ryu. "Well… technically we did. But you were sucked
by dark fiendish stream. We passed through it right away. But you were nowhere
to be found."
"So
you didn't abandon me?"
"Of
course we didn't." Waiareas patted his daughter. "But when we
arrived, it turned out you were already 17 years old."
"I
still don't get it how you look so young."
"Sadly
I do not know that." said Ryu. "It as if dimensions don't stream the
time at the exact same pace."
"I
assume that Moho knows the answer for that." added Waiareas.
"Then
why didn't you explain to me and took me right away?"
"Would
you go with me and papa when at the time you didn't know us?"
"Well…
I guess you are right…"
"We
actually wanted to take you right away. But the one who recommended us to wait
was Oak. He recommended us to join your journey while rebuilding our
relationship for a year." said her father. "Well… we couldn't
restrain ourselves in the end, as you saw yesterday."
"I'm
glad you didn't." smiled Miakko and laid on her father's and mother's
knees. "I always tried to convince myself that I don't need my real
parents. But that was just a lie I created to myself, a lie to protect me from
my real feelings. But I guess that moment I saw you for the first time I
somehow knew."
"Ryu,
it is exactly as you said…"
"Mama,
Papa, if you'll ask to go home with you I will. But if I can, I still want to
continue my journey to its end. I assume that everyone at home is waiting to
see me again, but I just don't feel like I can go right away."
"What
are you saying Miakko? This is a chance of a lifetime! Of course we are not
going home yet. And don't forget Miakko; this is not just your journey. It is
mine and Papa as well. All three of us will be Pokémon champions!"
"Thank
you! Mama, Papa!"
"Alright,
I've decided! We must celebrate our reunion with my beautiful daughter! We
missed eleven birthdays, so we have to compensate for it! Let's go
shopping!"
"It
okay Papa, you don't have to."
"No,
your father is actually right. We have to do it."
Nog and
Matoi joined to conversation "Oh, looks like you met with them.
Contractions Miakko." greeted her Nog.
"Nog
you dildohead! You are embarrassing her!" punched him Matoi.
"Looks
like you made up." giggled Miakko.
"Oh
yeah we fucked right after you went…" Matoi again showed he has no common
sense at all.
"If
you want to have a place to hang out, then I recommend Dizzymaze Mall."
suggested Nog.
Wait…. Dizzymaze…
I remember that name… no… it cannot be the same one as I remember… it isn't…
right? Right?!!!!! Fucking shit if it is the same one as the one I remember
from how many years ago!!!!! Please… don't be that place I think of!!!!!
….. This
is the same place… who knew that my dimension has its version as the same
Dizzymaze of the dimension of my son… Fuck You my traitor boy!!!! Fuck you
Hikaru as well! Now it explains why Nog and Matoi wants to go there…
Dizzymaze
Mall was located south-east to Goldenrod City. The only way to reach there was
only by a special bus. Or on foot if you are crazy enough to walk on highway
road and wish to be run over by rampaging bus. The mall itself was three
connected tall towers. Each one of them was designed to look like a Diglett on
different heights. Meaning… the whole place was designed after a Dugtrio.
The
Furukawa family decided to search for a store that sells Pokémon. Miakko knew
that a Pokémon is too much pricey for her parents, so she didn't ask for a
special one. But her mother and father insisted that she will be free with her
wishes. They wanted to treat her as much as they could. Well… the way to get to
the store… was a different case… Dizzymaze Mall was infamous for it's over
complicated design. Many families lost their beloved ones in this place, and
never saw each other ever again. Therefore it was highly recommended to never
lose an eye contact with the one you hang with, and even hold hands if
possible.
After
fucking two hours of searching they reached the Pokémon store. Miakko looked
carefully and decided for one. "Mama, it is okay for this one?"
"Why
not?" asked Ryu.
"It
is a Lapras… isn't it too expensive for you?" The reason that Lapras was
so expensive was due to its rarity.
"Get
it Miakko. Have a good time." Ryu and Waiareas felt as if Miakko of six
years old is back for a few moments. It gave them an immense joy to see her
happy.
Miakko
noticed a Spoink doll when she was about to pay. Waiareas noticed it. "You
want it as well Miakko?"
"It
is okay. I'm not a kid anymore."
"Oh,
no. It is not a doll." answered the shopkeeper "It is a living
Spoink."
"But
it doesn't move…"
"Fuck!!!!!!
It is dead!!!!" Spoink was a unique creature. If it stops bouncing it
means it has passed away. "Someone! Call CPR!!!!" no one was coming.
"I won't lose my income you shitty pig!!!!!" he kissed the Spoink's
lips so it can breathe. "Die after I'll sell you!!!!!". But it did
nothing. It is dead. "Well… I can sell you it as a ham if you want…"
he tried to make some money of the dead Spoink.
"Spoink
is not Kosher you son of the bitch!!!!!!" stormed two bearded people.
"You three. Do you want to eat really proper food?!"
"I
guess. Why not?" said Ryu.
"Good!
Come to my store with me. It is called 'I want to suck to Arceus'. By the way,
my name is Rabbi."
"And
I'm Jacob." said the other one. "Rabbi taught me a lot in how to
become a proper believer."
The gays
gathered together in the lobby of the Dizzymaze's first floor of the shortest
tower. "Today is a special day!" announced the show presenter. "We
have special guests! Meet…" the gays waited to hear who they are.
"Nog and Matoi!!!!"
"I
can't believe they are actually here!!!!"
"Yeah
I'm a big fan of them!!!!"
"Thanks
to them I realized who I am!!!!"
"Let's
have fun!!!!"
"So
what is 'Kosher'?" asked Waiareas.
"Kosher
is a word we use to describe the only Pokémon our god, Arceus wrote in his
testament we are allowed to eat." answered Rabbi.
…. I never
wrote such a thing….
"But
why would you do it to yourselves? I don't see any reason." said Miakko.
"I
dunno… I just listen to his words. The worst thing you can do as a religious is
to doubt our god reasoning. It is or that you fully believe, or not."
…. As I
said… I never said not to eat certain Pokémon… Sure… it is fucked up to eat a
Gothorita or a Garbodor, but I never said not to eat them…
"Eating
Kosher food is actually great." said Jacob. "Since we are limited to
certain ingredients, we have to be creative by the way we make new dishes,
which make our religion have more unique dishes!"
"I see…"
understood Ryu. "So your foods are more creative thanks to that. By that
way you also don't suffer from FOMO, I mean 'Fear of Missing Out'."
"Well…
We actually do suffer from it. Since we created such unique dishes, so we have
too many delicious dishes to eat." said Rabbi. "Jacob, give them a
proper dish so they can see why our religion is so great."
Jacob
brought the dish. It was a burning hot meat, stuck on a skewer. Waiareas took a
bite of the dish. "Wow! It is so good! What is it made of?"
"A
Whimsicott meat, covered by a Blaziken fat. You see, the Grass typing of
Whimsicott gets burned by the hot fat of the Fire typing of Blaziken. That's
what makes this dish so tasty."
"Can
you give me one as well?" asked Miakko.
"For
you I'll give a different dish. It isn't as unique as the one I gave your
father, but here. Eat this." Rabbi gave her an ice cream which was made of
Vanillish' body. It was covered by a Miltank milk mixed with cocoa.
Miakko
enjoyed the ice cream. It was so simple, yet so tasty. The hot milk mixed with
the cold ice cream. Amazing. "Papa, have a bite."
"Stop!!!"
ordered Rabbi. "Unfortunately, you cannot eat this ice cream."
"Huh?
Why not?"
"That's
because our religion doesn't allow eating milk right after eating meat. You'll
have to wait for six hours until you can this ice cream."
What the
fuck is wrong with this cult…
"So
how do you decide what counts as meat and what not?" asked Ryu.
"Our
ancestors had great discussions about this in the past. We simply go by their
words. We created a list of all the Kosher Pokémon. Here." He gave them
the list.
"Nog!
Will you marry me?!" asked one insane fan at the orgy.
"Will
you marry me as well?"
Matoi was
starting to get jealous. No one asked him that, but already 50 hot men asked
Nog. Nog realized this. "No! I won't! I have only one husband. It is fine
to have sex with me, sure, but I won't marry anyone but Matoi! I'm not a nasty
cheater! You should bang him as well."
"That's
why Nog and Matoi are the gods of orgy! Even if fucked by 100 men they won't
cheat other! I wish I could be even 20 percent of who they are!"
"So
Remoraid is Kosher but its evolved form Octillery isn't… yeah I don't get
it…" said Ryu while she read the list.
"Oh
that's because Octillery is a mollusk." explained Rabbi.
"I
see… most of the Pokémon in your list are cattle, fish, birds, plants, or
foods. So it makes sense. But what about Scyther and Lokix? They don't fit to
anything similar in that list." asked Miakko.
"That's
because our ancestors were saved by them. In our religion there is tale that
happened four thousand years ago. One evil king tried to kill all of our boys.
He even threw them to be eaten by Krookodiles in the desert, but Lokix and
Scyther saved us."
…. This
religion is fucked up… at least I'm not Kosher…
"By
the way, Arceus is Kosher!" announced Jacob.
What the
fuck?!!!!!! What's wrong with you?!!!! How can you eat your god?!!!! Let's hear
the stupid reasoning…
"That's
because Arceus is a cattle." continued Jacob.
….Oh…. it
is that simple… When I think about it… how do they know how I look? Very few
humans ever saw me…
"Don't
listen to them!!!!" called one religious man from the nearby store.
"Our religion is much better!!!!!"
"Shut
up Akira!!!! called Rabbi. "Our religion is the same as yours. You just
changed a few things so they could fit to your comfortability!!!"
Wait…
Rabbi… Jacob… Akira…. are they…? No they can't be them… They were such good
friends….
"Well…
I haven't eaten yet." Ryu went to Akira's store. "What do you
offer?"
"Eat
this. Dachsbun meat with Alcremie's vanilla."
"Don't!!!!"
called Rabbi. "Daschbun is a dog. We are not allowed to eat
canines!!!!"
"No
it is not! It is candy!!!!" argued Akira.
"You
have called it a "meat" by yourself!"
"It
just a term you idiot!!!!!"
"I
guess I'll never understand this religion…" said Waiareas.
"Well,
I guess it is the time to call it a day." said Ryu. "Miakko, did you
have fun with us?"
"Of
course! Thank you, Mama, Papa!"
Now they
have to find the way back in this fucking maze… The rumor that designer of this
place was hit by a Dizzy Punch and that's how he got the idea to create this
place…
It took
the Furukawas fucking two hours to find the way back to the entrance. "You
three!" called one old person. "You look like Pokémon trainers.
Listen, if you have flying Pokémon I recommend for you to not get inside any
building or a car. Return as fast as possible to your home."
"What
makes you say this?" asked Ryu.
"The
things I saw a few minutes ago, they are the same as the disaster that occurred
at 1347. If you want to stay alive, return home at once. The others in this
mall… they aren't likely to be saved. I'm going to help as much as I can to
save as many people as I can. But this is already too late… The world is going
into long and dark times…"
"Papa,
what do you think?" asked Miakko.
"I
think we should do as he says. Miakko, I don't think you can continue your
journey with your broken arm for long. We also have to thank to your adoptive
mother. It fits perfectly."
A few
minutes ago…
"Akira!!!!!"
Rabbi smashed a chair on his face.
"Rabbi!!!!!"
Akira speared a fork at his hand.
"Guys,
guys!" Jacob tried to appease them. "It doesn't matter which of us is
right. What's important is that we are friends. By the way, Zubat is Kosher,
right?" he took a bite from a raw Zubat.
"No
Jacob!!!! Don't eat it!!!! It is dangerous!!!!" called Rabbi and Akira.
Jacob
started coughing. He fell on his butt, and fainted.
Writer
notes:
Did
you notice the story's title chance? Yeah, there is no reason to call this
story "Blaze" anymore! This chapter is the seventeen chapter of the
story. When I wrote "Homo Sama no Daibouken", the entire story was 17
chapters. Only a few months later I had an idea for a second season. Pokémon Blaze
and Furukawa is going to continue over those 17 chapters, and hopefully over 35
chapters- the total length of Homo Sama no Daibouken's two seasons.
If
you want to know which Pokémon are Kosher or not, I made an entire list which
you can see in the photo below. It is mostly based on the real life Judaism
Kosher animals, but with some changes.
 |
| Kosher Pokemon List. From Left- Rabbi's Kosher. From Right- Akira's Kosher (All of Rabbi's are allowed as well in Akira's) |
