Hit Points, Physical Attack,
Physical Defense, Special Attack, Special Defense, and Speed: Those exist in
every Pokémon. Using them masterfully along with the right item, ability,
typing, move set, mechanic, team balance, care and love, and of course brilliant
thinking mid battle will lead the trainer into victory!
"Fuck!!!!"
Mason shot with his rifle. "That chicken is insane. It won't die!!!!"
"I
feel like I have déjà vu…" Roland said "Like I've fought against it
but it was something else… called Emu or something…"
"Right?!
I know!" Dasler said "Could it be… FUCK!!!!"
"Did
you remember something?!" Mason asked.
"I
feel like we have been in this situation before… we asked for help from the
government and they brought a top commander but as part of our training he
raped us in the ass!"
"Yeah!
I remember it too! But it clearly didn't happen! What's going on?! How could it
be that all of us have the same false memory?!"
Shirr and
Katsuya were traveling in Kalos. At some point they met with Nog and Matoi and
traveled with them.
"I'm
so happy for you that you became a couple!" Matoi hugged them. "Did
you fuck already?"
"Well…
about that…" Shirr was blushing.
About
that?!!!!!! Shirr! goddamn you! Shirr and Katsuya fucked at every opportunity
that had! I had to suffer looking at them every day. At most of the days it was
more than once! And then when I took a break before killing myself and looked
at Brazle and Tanimura… guess what?! They fucked most of the time as well! I
need to see some gays doing it… I wish that Aaron will go homo for Moho Sama.
Amen!
"Well,
it is normal." Nog said. "Every couple does it more at the start of
the relationship."
The amount
of times that Shirr and Katsuya did it is NOT normal!!!!!
At some
point in the journey, the four have encountered at someone Pokémon trader who
offered an Alolan Graveler to trade for any Pokémon to their liking. The trader's
name was Midny. Shirr decided to trade with her, but realized that it didn't
evolve to Golem. Midny the monster attached an Everstone to it.
"Why
would you do it?!!!!!" Nog shouted. "You get nothing out of
that!!!!"
"Seeing
the disappointment in the trader's eyes makes me happy!" Midny laughed.
"It is the joy in my life!"
"Monster!"
Matoi yelled.
"Nog,
Matoi, it is okay. Katsuya will trade with me and will help to evolve it later.
Right, Katsuya?"
"Of
course. It is not a big deal." Katuya nodded.
"I
guess you are right…" Matoi said and looked at Nog's eyes.
"Shirr,
Katsuya, go ahead. We are going to buy something. We'll catch you on
later." Nog said.
"We
can wait." Katsuya said.
"Yeah…
but it is embarrassing… so go ahead." Nog said.
Shirr and
Katsuya went ahead. "It must be that embarrassing… I wonder what they have
to hide…" Shirr was wondering.
"Ouchi
Ouch!"
"Shitty
monster!" Nog kicked her legs.
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
"This
is your punishment!" Matoi punched in her face.
"Ouchi
Ouch!!!!!!!!"
Later
Midny was taken to a hospital. She will die from her injuries five months
later…
During the
night Katsuya was dreaming. He was dreaming about his mother. He couldn't
picture her face in the dream, but he felt like that his mother cared for him.
At his dream his mother sang a song for him, which was cut in the middle of the
dream. At the morning he told Shirr about the dream and the song, as it is the
single clue they had for finding her. The song went as this:
'Torchic,
Torchic, so tiny
Crack,
crack your egg and go for me to meet
Eat well
until you can evolve into Combusken'
"That's
the only a thing you remember?" Shirr asked.
"Yeah.
But I wonder if this song is real to begin with. It is very unlikely that a
baby that just was born would remember this…"
"I'll
believe that. That's the only clue we have."
"Good
morning!" Nog and Matoi greeted them as they arrived. "So where are
we going?" Nog asked.
"To
the GYM at Santalune City." Katsuya answered. But to do that they had to
pass through Route 5 which had a bit of an issue…
As Divoc
was over, many many people found themselves without a job. Some of them decided
to build a farm at the south of Route 5 of Kalos which had a huge area for
farming. Skiddo, the goat Pokémon was native to this area. It is a great
Pokémon as it covers many needs of farmers. It is very nutritious. It can
provide milk, as this is how the species bring up the young to adulthood.
Skiddo, and its evolved form Gogoat have some of the best milk of all Pokémon.
Not to mention that since all Pokémon hatch from eggs, the farmers bred them
for their eggs. If that wasn't enough, due to it being a grass type, Skiddo's
meat was meat and a plant at the same time. However, the farmer didn't expect
for one other Pokémon to ruin their lives… that Pokémon was Dodrio.
"Shoot
that mother fucker!!!!!!"
"I
can't aim on three heads at the same time!"
"Just
shoot! Dammit!"
Mason shot
at one head of the three headed monster, but the two other heads didn't care
and kept rampaging.
"Mason
was killed in action" Dasler reported to the head of the farm. "What
are we gonna do about that?!!!!!"
"Just
shoot!!!!!! I don't care how many guns you need! I want you to erase every
single Dodrio and Doduo from existence!"
"Your
mother gets her income from people who fuck her pussy!!!!!!!!!" Dasler
took a rifle and shot twenty bullets at the Dodrios.
"You
could have said that his mother is a whore!" Miller shouted.
"But
it is funnier to say it this way!!!!!!" he shot again. "Fuck! I'm out
of ammo! Retreat!!!!!"
Shirr,
Katsuya, and the gay couple have reached to Route 5. They saw that their road
to Santalune City was blocked due to the Schnitzel War. The farmer explained
that they can't pass until the war is over. The farmers feared for their
safety.
"Isn't
there something we can do?" Shirr asked.
"Unless
you have an idea how to get rid of those monsters, you can't pass. This is for
your safety."
"Wait!
I have an idea!" Nog annouced. 'See, this will get rid of them!' he
whispered to Matoi.
'Good
Idea! So let's bring the ammo!' Matoi whispered back.
"We'll
come back in a few more days!" they announced and went to bring the ammo.
"I
wonder what kind of 'Ammo' they were talking about…" Katsuya wondered.
They came
back three days later!!!!!
"So,
what have you brought?" Shirr asked.
"Think
about that! We don't want kill Pokémon for nothing! So if Dodrio will become a
meal?" Nog said.
"Dodrio's
meat tastes like shit." Dasler said.
Matoi
spitted the Dodrio schnitzel "Shit! You are right! It tastes awful!"
"Anyway!
Who the fuck is going to eat it?!!!!" Dasler screamed.
"They
are!" Nog and Matoi summoned a pride of twelve Pyroars; 9 females, and
three males. "Eat the Dodrios!!!!!!"
"No!
This is a bad idea!!!!! Don't!!!!!!!"
The
Pyroars found it easier to hunt all of the Gogoats in the farm due the type
advantage. The Gogoats were also more delicious….
"What
have you done?!!!!!" Miller screamed "You've destroyed our main
source of income in under an hour!!!!!"
"Then
now what's the plan?!" Dasler screamed.
"I've
brought some special rifles!" Jerry said. "This will kill them! They
have powers to shoot electricity, rocks, and ice; Dodrio's weakness!"
They started
shooting. "It works! It kills them! But it is not enough! The Dodrio's are
still stronger than us! We need some help!"
"Stop!"
one guy with long green hair said.
"Did
you come to aid us?! Join us, brother!" Jerry called.
"No!
I've came to stop you. I've heard about the massacre you do on the poor
Dodrios! I won't let you harm them!" the guy named N said.
"Miller!
Call an ambulance!" Jerry said.
"An ambulance…
I don't understand…" N said.
"Soon
you will!" Jerry and Dasler pushed N to the ground "Will you pay for
our crops?! Of course you won't!" they kicked him non-stop for five
minutes. N was taken to the hospital as soon as the ambulance arrived.
"Then
let's keep shooting!" Miller said. He shot for five minutes and soon the
special rifles were out of ammo. "Shit! Now what do now?!"
"I
have enough of this!" a voice of a woman was heard. "Go! Zapdos!"
she called. The Zapdos easily killed all of the Dodrios with its amazing electric
powers. The woman came out of the smoke of her massacre. She was wearing a
short dress under her long coat. She was 35 years old and had spiky and long
green hair; her hair length was a bit shorter than Miakko's and Brazle's hair.
She had a scar that went from her left eyebrow up to her neck. Her name was
Kamidori Sayoko. Shirr was gazing at the woman.
"What
happened?" Sayoko asked. "You are gazing me as if you've seen a
ghost."
"We
are just impressed by how you defeated the Dodrio so easily. Not to mention you
own a Legendary Pokémon." Katsuya said.
"That's
not it! I'm sure I've seen her somewhere…" Shirr said.
"Well,
we might have met somewhere." Sayoko said. "I've traveled all over
the world for years. There is a decent chance we've seen each other."
"We
should get moving. No more Dodrios, nothing to stop us" Nog said.
"Shirr, Katsuya, let's move."
"Katsuya…"
Sayoko mumbled "I've seen too many people with this name to believe it is
him…"
Writer
Notes:
This chapter was based on "The Great Schnitzel War" chapter from Homo Sama no Daibouken. Kind of… The idea for this chapter for a war based on The Great Emu War in real life came was planned way before for a Pokémon story than I've planned to write it for "Homo Sama no Daibouken". However, since I've written Homo Sama no Daibouken first, I've ripped off myself. Hence the name of the chapter.
Kamidori Sayoko's Design, by me
